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Opportunity in Being Alone

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Hi, and welcome back to your Daily Mindfulness. In today's session, we're going to talk about the opportunity in being alone. Now, the thing about being alone is that we don't have the social security and comfort of being with another person. And in that space of aloneness, our tendency can be to become lonely. But aloneness is different than loneliness.

It's quite possible to feel full, connected and loved in your basic aloneness. I know people who lived as hermits in caves for decades at a time without seeing other human beings, and these are some of the happiest people I've ever met in my life. I'm not saying that's how we should live. And I'm certainly not saying that we shouldn't value other people and our relationships. There's so much value, richness, and goodness that comes from those connections.

But this is to point to the fact that we can develop a friendship, a comfort, and a sense of safety within ourself, that we can then take into our relationships, romantic and otherwise. The reason this is important for our relationships is because of our sense of worth and validation is contingent upon other people relating to us certain way, then we'll be subconsciously holding them to a particular standard or way of being that serves how we feel. In other words, our sense of self worth. We'll rely on them to say certain things, to do certain things, to not do certain things, all helping us feel okay. And if they don't do those things, then we'll subconsciously try to make them do this things.

But when you develop this sense of okayness within yourself, you end up giving another person, person more permission to be who they are. You no longer have to control them or force them to be a certain way in order for you to be okay. You get to interact with them in a healthy, free flowing way, rather than a co-dependent way. So if you do find yourself alone, whether you're single or you just have some alone time, see if you can hang out there for a bit. Use it as an opportunity to relax into your own company, to meet yourself in the mirror.

Being alone is an opportunity to find joy in your own company. And since so many relationships issues stem from our inability to feel worthy in the absence of another person's validation, thriving alone is a powerful foundation for thriving together. Thank you for your practice. We'll talk more about this in the meditation and take care.

Cory Muscara

4.8

Opportunity in Being Alone

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Duration

Your default time is based on your progress and is changed automatically as you practice.

Hi, and welcome back to your Daily Mindfulness. In today's session, we're going to talk about the opportunity in being alone. Now, the thing about being alone is that we don't have the social security and comfort of being with another person. And in that space of aloneness, our tendency can be to become lonely. But aloneness is different than loneliness.

It's quite possible to feel full, connected and loved in your basic aloneness. I know people who lived as hermits in caves for decades at a time without seeing other human beings, and these are some of the happiest people I've ever met in my life. I'm not saying that's how we should live. And I'm certainly not saying that we shouldn't value other people and our relationships. There's so much value, richness, and goodness that comes from those connections.

But this is to point to the fact that we can develop a friendship, a comfort, and a sense of safety within ourself, that we can then take into our relationships, romantic and otherwise. The reason this is important for our relationships is because of our sense of worth and validation is contingent upon other people relating to us certain way, then we'll be subconsciously holding them to a particular standard or way of being that serves how we feel. In other words, our sense of self worth. We'll rely on them to say certain things, to do certain things, to not do certain things, all helping us feel okay. And if they don't do those things, then we'll subconsciously try to make them do this things.

But when you develop this sense of okayness within yourself, you end up giving another person, person more permission to be who they are. You no longer have to control them or force them to be a certain way in order for you to be okay. You get to interact with them in a healthy, free flowing way, rather than a co-dependent way. So if you do find yourself alone, whether you're single or you just have some alone time, see if you can hang out there for a bit. Use it as an opportunity to relax into your own company, to meet yourself in the mirror.

Being alone is an opportunity to find joy in your own company. And since so many relationships issues stem from our inability to feel worthy in the absence of another person's validation, thriving alone is a powerful foundation for thriving together. Thank you for your practice. We'll talk more about this in the meditation and take care.

Cory Muscara

4.8

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