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RAIN for Self-Love

Bring the mindfulness and self-compassion to a challenging part of our life, and particularly, to places of self-judgment or feelings of failure.

I thought today, what we do is a practice on self-compassion, the RAIN of self-compassion, which I, I just love this practice. So if you will, take a moment to find your way of sitting that'll support you for the next 10, 15 minutes. Adjusting your posture so you're feeling comfortable so you're relaxed, at ease and also alert, awake. As you're ready, you might close your eyes and let the attention go in. We begin by just breathing together, extending our breath so that the in-breath now.

Breathing in long and deep, filling the chest and the lungs. And a slow out-breath, feel the sensations of the breath leaving the nostrils. Inhaling again. A deep, full in-breath. And a slow even out-breath, sense of letting go.

Letting go, letting go. And once again, inhaling deeply. And that slow out breath, relaxing, outward, letting go. And then allowing the breath to come back into a natural rhythm. Being aware of the presence that's right here.

The senses awake. And you might take a moment to scan through your body and sense what might want to let go just a little bit more right now. It's very helpful to feel your face and let the eyes soften. Maybe bring a slight smile to the mouth. To let go a bit in the shoulders.

See if you can soften. Let there be an openness to the chest. And softening the belly. Letting this next breath be received in a softening belly. This breath.

And now this one. And again. And widening the tangents so you can feel your whole body breathing, opening to receive the breath. Relaxing, settling with the out-breath. And again, sensing the quality of presence that's right here.

And it's from presence that I invite you to scan your life, and notice if there's a repeating situation going on that brings up emotional reactivity, self judgment. And some way you turn on yourself. Feeling whether it's self aversion or just in some way that critical voice takes over some. So scanning and looking for that, where you might be turning on yourself. Not landing on something that is linked in with trauma, because it won't serve you so well during this shorter meditation.

Maybe something to do with a relationship with others. Maybe something to do with your habits, your health. Something to do with work. And when you've landed on something, bring to mind the situation that most illustrates it. Something recent that might've happened where those feelings of self-judgment came up.

And visualize where you are when it's happening. See the room you're in. Or if it's outside where you are. And if there's somebody else involved, see them, their face, what they might be saying. So you reconnect with the actual experience some.

And sense what's the worst part of this for you? The R of RAIN is to really pause and recognize, okay, what's happening? And notice whatever's most predominant. It may be, as I mentioned, that inner critical voice, or it may be a feeling of fear, anxiety, shame, agitation, distress. Maybe there's criticism, but also numbness. To recognize, it really helps to whisper what you're aware of. You might just name it.

Self-judgment. Self aversion. Anger. Fear, A mental whisper. And allowing is just what it sounds like, that you're letting whatever's coming up be there.

These are the waves of the moment. And it's like saying, okay, this belongs right in this moment. So you're acknowledging the reality without pushing it away. And you can even mentally whisper something like, yes, or this belongs, or let be, just to allow space for what's here. And now you can begin an investigation and that's a somatic, primarily somatic in your body, with curiosity and gentleness.

So bring your interest to, okay, so how is this living inside me? And as a way in you might ask yourself, well, what am I believing? What am I believing right now? Am I believing that I failed? Am I believing that I'm a bad person? Am I believing I'll never change? Am I believing that others will reject me, that others couldn't possibly respect me? Our belief might come up easily, and if it doesn't, no worries. Whatever comes up, see if you can go to where the feelings are strongest now in the body. So if you're believing that you're a failure, that your deficient, flawed, how does that feel in your body? What's it like? Do you feel it in your throat or your chest or your belly? And to help yourself get in your body, wherever you feel anything a little more strongly, put your hand there. It's as if you're inviting whatever's there just to come forward in your body. Breathe with it.

When you're feeling the self judgment or when you're feeling aversive, you might let your face take the expression that represents it. Experiment with this. It can be helpful, especially if you're dissociated from your body. And let your posture express what you're feeling. So you're finding your way into your body.

Into that place in your body where you feel most vulnerable. You might ask yourself, what am I unwilling to feel? What's the worst part of this? And then feel into your body. Breathe with what's there. And the last part of investigating is to sense what is this part of me that feels terrible, that feels vulnerable. What does it most need? How does it want me to be with it? If it could have anything from the world right now from your higher self or the world, what would it want? Would it want to be seen? To be understood? To be loved? To be cherished? To be forgiven? Accepted? What flavor of love would most comfort and nourish? And as you feel into that, cause this is the transition into the N of RAIN, which is nurture, let yourself be witnessing and listening from your most awake, wise heart.

Just sense what is that part of you you most need to remember or trust. And see if you can offer some message of care. You might put your hand on your heart if it's not always there. And you might even vary the touch so it's tender. So you're communicating presence and tenderness.

Even if you don't feel it, just go through the motions. And send a message that you think will most be comforting. It could be simply, you're okay. You're enough. Trust yourself.

Trust your goodness. Or it might be, I'm, I'm here and I'm not leaving. I'm with you. You're held in love. Offering self-compassion.

Knowing that even if you're going through the motions, there's some deep part of you that wants to be able to hold yourself with love. And if it's very difficult to offer to yourself, you might explore calling on some larger source of loving. Perhaps the love or wisdom that flows through someone you trust like a friend, a grandparent, a teacher, a healer. Maybe a spiritual figure. Maybe your dog.

It may be that you're calling on a formless presence to something you intuit as the love of the universe. And just imagine that loving from the universe or through a certain being flowing into you, through your hand into the vulnerable place. For some it helps to imagine light flowing in or warmth. And it helps to have the intention to receive, to let in love. Let it into your cells and the spaces between your cells.

Let it wash through your entire being. The final part of the practice is called after the rain. And this is when you just sense the quality of the presence that's emerged. Perhaps you'll notice there's a bit more space, more tenderness, little more openness and freedom. It may be just a small degree.

It may be very profound. But whatever it is, notice the shift from when you started as the self-judging self and the quality of presence that's here. Who are you beyond the judging self or the self that feels judged? And what would your experience be like if you really trusted nothing is wrong with you? Take some moments to simply rest in a more spacious and kind awareness. Knowing this awareness as the inner most truth of what you are.

Meditation

4.7

RAIN for Self-Love

Bring the mindfulness and self-compassion to a challenging part of our life, and particularly, to places of self-judgment or feelings of failure.

Duration

Your default time is based on your progress and is changed automatically as you practice.

I thought today, what we do is a practice on self-compassion, the RAIN of self-compassion, which I, I just love this practice. So if you will, take a moment to find your way of sitting that'll support you for the next 10, 15 minutes. Adjusting your posture so you're feeling comfortable so you're relaxed, at ease and also alert, awake. As you're ready, you might close your eyes and let the attention go in. We begin by just breathing together, extending our breath so that the in-breath now.

Breathing in long and deep, filling the chest and the lungs. And a slow out-breath, feel the sensations of the breath leaving the nostrils. Inhaling again. A deep, full in-breath. And a slow even out-breath, sense of letting go.

Letting go, letting go. And once again, inhaling deeply. And that slow out breath, relaxing, outward, letting go. And then allowing the breath to come back into a natural rhythm. Being aware of the presence that's right here.

The senses awake. And you might take a moment to scan through your body and sense what might want to let go just a little bit more right now. It's very helpful to feel your face and let the eyes soften. Maybe bring a slight smile to the mouth. To let go a bit in the shoulders.

See if you can soften. Let there be an openness to the chest. And softening the belly. Letting this next breath be received in a softening belly. This breath.

And now this one. And again. And widening the tangents so you can feel your whole body breathing, opening to receive the breath. Relaxing, settling with the out-breath. And again, sensing the quality of presence that's right here.

And it's from presence that I invite you to scan your life, and notice if there's a repeating situation going on that brings up emotional reactivity, self judgment. And some way you turn on yourself. Feeling whether it's self aversion or just in some way that critical voice takes over some. So scanning and looking for that, where you might be turning on yourself. Not landing on something that is linked in with trauma, because it won't serve you so well during this shorter meditation.

Maybe something to do with a relationship with others. Maybe something to do with your habits, your health. Something to do with work. And when you've landed on something, bring to mind the situation that most illustrates it. Something recent that might've happened where those feelings of self-judgment came up.

And visualize where you are when it's happening. See the room you're in. Or if it's outside where you are. And if there's somebody else involved, see them, their face, what they might be saying. So you reconnect with the actual experience some.

And sense what's the worst part of this for you? The R of RAIN is to really pause and recognize, okay, what's happening? And notice whatever's most predominant. It may be, as I mentioned, that inner critical voice, or it may be a feeling of fear, anxiety, shame, agitation, distress. Maybe there's criticism, but also numbness. To recognize, it really helps to whisper what you're aware of. You might just name it.

Self-judgment. Self aversion. Anger. Fear, A mental whisper. And allowing is just what it sounds like, that you're letting whatever's coming up be there.

These are the waves of the moment. And it's like saying, okay, this belongs right in this moment. So you're acknowledging the reality without pushing it away. And you can even mentally whisper something like, yes, or this belongs, or let be, just to allow space for what's here. And now you can begin an investigation and that's a somatic, primarily somatic in your body, with curiosity and gentleness.

So bring your interest to, okay, so how is this living inside me? And as a way in you might ask yourself, well, what am I believing? What am I believing right now? Am I believing that I failed? Am I believing that I'm a bad person? Am I believing I'll never change? Am I believing that others will reject me, that others couldn't possibly respect me? Our belief might come up easily, and if it doesn't, no worries. Whatever comes up, see if you can go to where the feelings are strongest now in the body. So if you're believing that you're a failure, that your deficient, flawed, how does that feel in your body? What's it like? Do you feel it in your throat or your chest or your belly? And to help yourself get in your body, wherever you feel anything a little more strongly, put your hand there. It's as if you're inviting whatever's there just to come forward in your body. Breathe with it.

When you're feeling the self judgment or when you're feeling aversive, you might let your face take the expression that represents it. Experiment with this. It can be helpful, especially if you're dissociated from your body. And let your posture express what you're feeling. So you're finding your way into your body.

Into that place in your body where you feel most vulnerable. You might ask yourself, what am I unwilling to feel? What's the worst part of this? And then feel into your body. Breathe with what's there. And the last part of investigating is to sense what is this part of me that feels terrible, that feels vulnerable. What does it most need? How does it want me to be with it? If it could have anything from the world right now from your higher self or the world, what would it want? Would it want to be seen? To be understood? To be loved? To be cherished? To be forgiven? Accepted? What flavor of love would most comfort and nourish? And as you feel into that, cause this is the transition into the N of RAIN, which is nurture, let yourself be witnessing and listening from your most awake, wise heart.

Just sense what is that part of you you most need to remember or trust. And see if you can offer some message of care. You might put your hand on your heart if it's not always there. And you might even vary the touch so it's tender. So you're communicating presence and tenderness.

Even if you don't feel it, just go through the motions. And send a message that you think will most be comforting. It could be simply, you're okay. You're enough. Trust yourself.

Trust your goodness. Or it might be, I'm, I'm here and I'm not leaving. I'm with you. You're held in love. Offering self-compassion.

Knowing that even if you're going through the motions, there's some deep part of you that wants to be able to hold yourself with love. And if it's very difficult to offer to yourself, you might explore calling on some larger source of loving. Perhaps the love or wisdom that flows through someone you trust like a friend, a grandparent, a teacher, a healer. Maybe a spiritual figure. Maybe your dog.

It may be that you're calling on a formless presence to something you intuit as the love of the universe. And just imagine that loving from the universe or through a certain being flowing into you, through your hand into the vulnerable place. For some it helps to imagine light flowing in or warmth. And it helps to have the intention to receive, to let in love. Let it into your cells and the spaces between your cells.

Let it wash through your entire being. The final part of the practice is called after the rain. And this is when you just sense the quality of the presence that's emerged. Perhaps you'll notice there's a bit more space, more tenderness, little more openness and freedom. It may be just a small degree.

It may be very profound. But whatever it is, notice the shift from when you started as the self-judging self and the quality of presence that's here. Who are you beyond the judging self or the self that feels judged? And what would your experience be like if you really trusted nothing is wrong with you? Take some moments to simply rest in a more spacious and kind awareness. Knowing this awareness as the inner most truth of what you are.

Meditation

4.7

Duration

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