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How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
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How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
Benefits of Mindfulness: Mindful Living Can Change Your Life
Mindfulness 101: A Beginner's Guide
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Welcome back to your Daily Mindfulness. In today's session, we're going to discuss why we often self-sabotage the good things in our life. First thing to keep in mind is that your nervous system seeks out what's familiar, not what's good for you. It's a confusing thing. Why do we fall into the same patterns over and over again? We know this kind of person isn't good for us and yet we repeatedly date people just like them.
It's important to remember that our nervous systems are often trying to take us into a space that's familiar, not what our logical brain thinks is good for us. In the world of the nervous system, familiar equals comfort, and it wants comfort. So going back to the example above, let's say you're trying to break the pattern of falling into abusive relationships. You know that person isn't good for you, but you keep going back to them and people just like them. Well, ask yourself, did you grow up around people who were similar? Were your parents abusive in any way? Is that sort of person what you're more familiar with or all, you know? Did you grow up in a household that had uncertainty, instability, noise and maybe chaos? Perhaps you hated it? You may have even promised yourself that you will never live like that again, or surround yourself with people like that.
However, this is what your nervous system adapted to as familiar. It's what it knows. When there isn't that chaos and uncertainty, it's a new experience and it doesn't know as well how to react or how to be comfortable and quiet, calm, and even security. So what happens? You find someone that is more grounded and calm, spend some time with them and then leave. You know, you usually say they're boring or it just doesn't feel right, it's kind of uncomfortable.
But this is your nervous system trying to get back to what it knows. There are different ways to break this pattern, but in general, it's helping the nervous system adjust to and appreciate new territory. And this is one of the powerful things about meditation. In meditation, we notice all of our usual desires, our versions, our needs and wants and allow ourselves to find grounding amid all of this. There's a new peace that arises.
One that is not contingent upon riding the emotional rollercoaster. And in the context of our example, from this new place of peace, you're more likely to value the company of someone similar to that, if that's what you're looking for. So notice where you might be getting caught in patterns of self-sabotage in your own life and see if you can examine that. And does it look like your nervous system might be seeking out what's familiar rather than what you want. And practice being with the thing that you want.
Notice the resistance to it, maybe some of the discomfort and just practice settling into it. Over time, that will become the nervous system's new default interest, if you will. As always, thank you for your practice. I appreciate your time and I'll talk to you soon. Take care.
Why We Self-Sabotage
Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:
Duration
Your default time is based on your progress and is changed automatically as you practice.
Welcome back to your Daily Mindfulness. In today's session, we're going to discuss why we often self-sabotage the good things in our life. First thing to keep in mind is that your nervous system seeks out what's familiar, not what's good for you. It's a confusing thing. Why do we fall into the same patterns over and over again? We know this kind of person isn't good for us and yet we repeatedly date people just like them.
It's important to remember that our nervous systems are often trying to take us into a space that's familiar, not what our logical brain thinks is good for us. In the world of the nervous system, familiar equals comfort, and it wants comfort. So going back to the example above, let's say you're trying to break the pattern of falling into abusive relationships. You know that person isn't good for you, but you keep going back to them and people just like them. Well, ask yourself, did you grow up around people who were similar? Were your parents abusive in any way? Is that sort of person what you're more familiar with or all, you know? Did you grow up in a household that had uncertainty, instability, noise and maybe chaos? Perhaps you hated it? You may have even promised yourself that you will never live like that again, or surround yourself with people like that.
However, this is what your nervous system adapted to as familiar. It's what it knows. When there isn't that chaos and uncertainty, it's a new experience and it doesn't know as well how to react or how to be comfortable and quiet, calm, and even security. So what happens? You find someone that is more grounded and calm, spend some time with them and then leave. You know, you usually say they're boring or it just doesn't feel right, it's kind of uncomfortable.
But this is your nervous system trying to get back to what it knows. There are different ways to break this pattern, but in general, it's helping the nervous system adjust to and appreciate new territory. And this is one of the powerful things about meditation. In meditation, we notice all of our usual desires, our versions, our needs and wants and allow ourselves to find grounding amid all of this. There's a new peace that arises.
One that is not contingent upon riding the emotional rollercoaster. And in the context of our example, from this new place of peace, you're more likely to value the company of someone similar to that, if that's what you're looking for. So notice where you might be getting caught in patterns of self-sabotage in your own life and see if you can examine that. And does it look like your nervous system might be seeking out what's familiar rather than what you want. And practice being with the thing that you want.
Notice the resistance to it, maybe some of the discomfort and just practice settling into it. Over time, that will become the nervous system's new default interest, if you will. As always, thank you for your practice. I appreciate your time and I'll talk to you soon. Take care.
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I have been on a journey of healing and learning self-love. Amidst the work, I have been using the mindfulness app for the gentle reminders, guides to the moment (especially the difficult ones).
Kelly Boys offers a fresh and illuminating take on how to step out of lifelong patterns that keep snagging us.
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Truly life changing. This isn't solely meditation and mindfulness...this is about striving to be the best the versions of ourselves.
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Relaxing and assuring beyond description... thank you, Cory.
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This is the app I turn to when I want to feel calm and loved.
- Abby
Melli has a beautiful way of guiding and reminding us of the stillness within.
- Adrienne James
I have been on a journey of healing and learning self-love. Amidst the work, I have been using the mindfulness app for the gentle reminders, guides to the moment (especially the difficult ones).
Kelly Boys offers a fresh and illuminating take on how to step out of lifelong patterns that keep snagging us.
- Tara Brach, PhD
Truly life changing. This isn't solely meditation and mindfulness...this is about striving to be the best the versions of ourselves.
- Marisa, Plus+ Member
Relaxing and assuring beyond description... thank you, Cory.
- Babs312
This is the app I turn to when I want to feel calm and loved.
- Abby
Melli has a beautiful way of guiding and reminding us of the stillness within.
- Adrienne James
I have been on a journey of healing and learning self-love. Amidst the work, I have been using the mindfulness app for the gentle reminders, guides to the moment (especially the difficult ones).
Kelly Boys offers a fresh and illuminating take on how to step out of lifelong patterns that keep snagging us.
- Tara Brach, PhD
Truly life changing. This isn't solely meditation and mindfulness...this is about striving to be the best the versions of ourselves.
- Marisa, Plus+ Member
Relaxing and assuring beyond description... thank you, Cory.
- Babs312
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Excellent! Cory gently guides you into internal peace.
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I start every day with Cory or Melli for my daily practice. Including this app into my practice helps me continue to build more mental focus and understanding of my thought processes. What a welcome and powerful gift.
- Oku
Shamash's guidance is a gift of wisdom to help us in our busy and stressful lives.
- Paul Gilbert, PhD, FBPsS, OBE, Centre for Compassion Research and Training, University of Derby, United Kingdom
Excellent! Cory gently guides you into internal peace.
- Steve Ericson
A necessary tool for those who feel lost.
- Piper
Just want to say a big thankyou to all involved as this has had a positive impact in my daily life 🙏 Valuable teachings that have allowed me to have a better relationship not only with those around me, but with myself. Heal ourselves and we heal the world 💫✨🌍
- Marty
I start every day with Cory or Melli for my daily practice. Including this app into my practice helps me continue to build more mental focus and understanding of my thought processes. What a welcome and powerful gift.
- Oku
Shamash's guidance is a gift of wisdom to help us in our busy and stressful lives.
- Paul Gilbert, PhD, FBPsS, OBE, Centre for Compassion Research and Training, University of Derby, United Kingdom
Excellent! Cory gently guides you into internal peace.
- Steve Ericson
A necessary tool for those who feel lost.
- Piper
Just want to say a big thankyou to all involved as this has had a positive impact in my daily life 🙏 Valuable teachings that have allowed me to have a better relationship not only with those around me, but with myself. Heal ourselves and we heal the world 💫✨🌍
- Marty
I start every day with Cory or Melli for my daily practice. Including this app into my practice helps me continue to build more mental focus and understanding of my thought processes. What a welcome and powerful gift.
- Oku
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