Try free for 7 days.

Mindfulness.com
Meditation
See all Meditation

Browse

Top articles

How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners

10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation

What is Meditation?

Mindful LivingSleep
Community

Already have an account?

Sign in

00:00

00:00

The Link Between Self-Compassion and Success

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today, I'm going to talk about the link between self-compassion and success. So I think that on some level we intuitively understand this link when it comes to how we treat other people. For instance, if we're trying to help someone learn a new skill, let's say, if you were teaching a child to ride a bike, when they make a mistake or get discouraged, or when they just can't figure it out, how do we typically respond? Well, you'd probably offer kind, supportive words, right? Probably speaking in a warm and soothing tone. If they fall off the bike, maybe you'd give them a hug even to at least soothe them.

Then when they recover, chances are you'll continue to be supportive and encouraging. You know, really telling them to give it another go or if they're really exhausted and really disheartened, really fed up, maybe you'd suggest they just take a rest and reassure them that they can try again tomorrow. And they will eventually be able to ride that bike with a little bit more patience, little bit more practice, a little bit more persistence. Now, take a moment to reflect on how you treat yourself when you make a mistake, fail or experience a setback. If you're like most people, you probably are a lot tougher on yourself.

You know, that inner critic often pops up. You know, oh, I'm so stupid. I never get anything right. Or we start to ruminate about all our flaws and shortcomings. Perhaps, we start really having very deep, doubting beliefs or thoughts.

You know, I'm not smart enough to do this. I'll never get this. Now can you imagine if you were saying this to someone who just fell off the bike, like you're so stupid, I just don't think you're a bike riding kind of person. That's a pretty tough environment to get back on the bike. Right? Well, of course, when we speak to ourselves like that in a harsh and critical way, it definitely makes it harder for us to learn from our mistakes and to stay motivated to try again, and have the confidence that if we just keep at it, we will achieve our goals.

So with this in mind, it should come as no surprise that there's a substantial body of research that shows that the skill of self-compassion is closely correlated to three key skills that lead to success - resilience, the ability to recognize and learn from our mistakes, and the ability to keep motivating ourselves to succeed. So how can we use self-compassion to help us learn, grow and be more effective on our path through life. Basically, you want to learn to treat yourself with the same kindness and encouragement and support that you would give to a friend, shifting the inner critic to become more like an inner coach or a supportive friend. Now, of course, self-compassion is a skill. This does take practice.

But it's really worth the effort. So instead of being hard on yourself, when you fail fall, or have a setback, try to meet each one of those moments with self-compassion. And when you do that, you'll be able to dust yourself off, pick yourself up again, and try again more quickly. You'll also be making gains in inner strength, resilience, and wisdom every step of the way. So as always, thank you for your practice and your presence here with us.

And let's settle in now for today's meditation.

Melli O'Brien

4.8

The Link Between Self-Compassion and Success

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Duration

Your default time is based on your progress and is changed automatically as you practice.

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today, I'm going to talk about the link between self-compassion and success. So I think that on some level we intuitively understand this link when it comes to how we treat other people. For instance, if we're trying to help someone learn a new skill, let's say, if you were teaching a child to ride a bike, when they make a mistake or get discouraged, or when they just can't figure it out, how do we typically respond? Well, you'd probably offer kind, supportive words, right? Probably speaking in a warm and soothing tone. If they fall off the bike, maybe you'd give them a hug even to at least soothe them.

Then when they recover, chances are you'll continue to be supportive and encouraging. You know, really telling them to give it another go or if they're really exhausted and really disheartened, really fed up, maybe you'd suggest they just take a rest and reassure them that they can try again tomorrow. And they will eventually be able to ride that bike with a little bit more patience, little bit more practice, a little bit more persistence. Now, take a moment to reflect on how you treat yourself when you make a mistake, fail or experience a setback. If you're like most people, you probably are a lot tougher on yourself.

You know, that inner critic often pops up. You know, oh, I'm so stupid. I never get anything right. Or we start to ruminate about all our flaws and shortcomings. Perhaps, we start really having very deep, doubting beliefs or thoughts.

You know, I'm not smart enough to do this. I'll never get this. Now can you imagine if you were saying this to someone who just fell off the bike, like you're so stupid, I just don't think you're a bike riding kind of person. That's a pretty tough environment to get back on the bike. Right? Well, of course, when we speak to ourselves like that in a harsh and critical way, it definitely makes it harder for us to learn from our mistakes and to stay motivated to try again, and have the confidence that if we just keep at it, we will achieve our goals.

So with this in mind, it should come as no surprise that there's a substantial body of research that shows that the skill of self-compassion is closely correlated to three key skills that lead to success - resilience, the ability to recognize and learn from our mistakes, and the ability to keep motivating ourselves to succeed. So how can we use self-compassion to help us learn, grow and be more effective on our path through life. Basically, you want to learn to treat yourself with the same kindness and encouragement and support that you would give to a friend, shifting the inner critic to become more like an inner coach or a supportive friend. Now, of course, self-compassion is a skill. This does take practice.

But it's really worth the effort. So instead of being hard on yourself, when you fail fall, or have a setback, try to meet each one of those moments with self-compassion. And when you do that, you'll be able to dust yourself off, pick yourself up again, and try again more quickly. You'll also be making gains in inner strength, resilience, and wisdom every step of the way. So as always, thank you for your practice and your presence here with us.

And let's settle in now for today's meditation.

Melli O'Brien

4.8

Duration

Play in-app

Scan the following QR code with your camera app to open it on our mobile app

Get Unlimited Access

Start your mindfulness journey today.

A Mindfulness Plus+ subscription gives you unlimited access to a world of premium mindfulness content.

  • Over 1,800 meditations, sleep, calm music, naturescapes and more
  • Daily mindfulness video meditations 365 days a year
  • 100s of courses and tools to help manage anxiety, sleep and stress

Email Missing

We couldn’t detect your email with the SSO provider you have selected.
or

Mindfulness Guarantee

We are here to make a positive impact on the world. We never want to sell you something that hasn’t helped you live a better life. That’s why if you’re unhappy with any purchase from us, you have 30 days to get a full refund and your money back.

If you subscribed to Mindfulness Plus+ and are unhappy with your purchase, please get in contact with us within the 30-day period and we’ll refund your purchase.


Learn more about our Mindfulness Guarantee.

Mindfulness

Bring balance into your everyday life.

We believe in a world where everybody has access to the life-changing skills of mindfulness.

  • 2,000+ Guided Meditations
  • Daily Coaching
  • Sleep Content
  • Mindful Exercises
  • Mindful Radio
  • 10+ Courses from world-class teachers

Private Browsing

Added to your cart!

Checkout

Thank you for joining us

Congratulations on your subscription! Dive into the full library and enjoy all it has to offer.

Claim your free access

Create a mindfulness account and we’ll unlock this premium session in your account forever.

or continue with
By continuing, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy.

Do you already have an account?

Start a free trial to play this session

7-Days free trial, cancel anytime.

Finish personalizing your account

Complete a few quick questions to make your own personalized mindfulness plan.

Sign up or login to your mindfulness account to proceed.

or continue with
By continuing, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy.

Do you already have an account?

Mindfulness

One membership to gain access to a world of premium mindfulness content created to help you live happier and stress less.

  • 2000+ Guided Meditations
  • Courses from world-class teachers
  • Resources for Stress + Anxiety
  • Breathing exercises, gratitude practices, relaxation techniques
  • Sleep meditations, playlists, stories
  • Mindful talks, podcasts, music, nature sounds