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The Five Givens of Life -DO NOT USE

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today, I'm going to talk about what David Richo calls the five givens of life. So in his book, The Five Things We Cannot Change, David Richo states that there are five inescapable givens of human experience. They are: one, everything changes and ends; two, things don't always go according to our plans; three, life isn't always fair; four, pain is a part of life; and five, people are not loving and loyal all the time. Now you might be thinking to yourself at this point, "Well, thanks for the inspiring lesson today, Melli." You know, but hear me out.

I think David's message in this book is a really beautiful and valuable one because he points out that struggling against the five givens of life is what leads to a lot of our suffering, our stress and our disappointments in life. But if we can learn to really bring an unconditional acceptance, an unconditional yes to these givens of life, accepting them and embracing life just as it is, then we can discover new degrees of freedom and peace of mind. There is a Zen practice that David offers us in the book, which helps us to bring about this unconditional yes to life in the moments when we're faced with the givens. It's to ask ourselves the question, this being the case, how shall I proceed? So when the givens come up, this being the case, how shall I proceed? This question helps us bring a certain amount of acceptance to what is. The first part of the sentence that this being the case is kind of like saying, okay, I accept that this is how it is right now.

And how shall I proceed is a way of asking ourselves, okay, how would I like to intentionally respond to this? It gives us a chance to tune into our values and then respond from that place rather than out of reactivity or mental struggles. So there you are, and somebody lets you down. They did something they said they wouldn't do. Instead of going into the mind and kind of ruminating about how this shouldn't be happening or how could they, or why me or how catastrophic it is. Instead you could try this being the case, how shall I proceed? So you accept that these things do happen and then decide what's the best course of action that aligns with your values.

What's the best thing for you. Now, I don't offer you this as some kind of magic bullet practice that's going to take away all the difficulties in life. The givens when they arise are not easy and they can be really painful. But what this practice can offer you is a way not to add more suffering and mental struggles on top of what you're already facing. And it can really ground you in presence, wisdom, and calm right there in the middle of it all.

So if this sounds like it could be valuable, I encourage you to give it a try when you're faced with loss, disappointment, heartache, or pain. This being the case, how shall I proceed? May it bring you ease and strength in those times. Thank you for your practice. Let's settle in for meditation.

Melli O'Brien

4.8

The Five Givens of Life -DO NOT USE

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Duration

Your default time is based on your progress and is changed automatically as you practice.

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today, I'm going to talk about what David Richo calls the five givens of life. So in his book, The Five Things We Cannot Change, David Richo states that there are five inescapable givens of human experience. They are: one, everything changes and ends; two, things don't always go according to our plans; three, life isn't always fair; four, pain is a part of life; and five, people are not loving and loyal all the time. Now you might be thinking to yourself at this point, "Well, thanks for the inspiring lesson today, Melli." You know, but hear me out.

I think David's message in this book is a really beautiful and valuable one because he points out that struggling against the five givens of life is what leads to a lot of our suffering, our stress and our disappointments in life. But if we can learn to really bring an unconditional acceptance, an unconditional yes to these givens of life, accepting them and embracing life just as it is, then we can discover new degrees of freedom and peace of mind. There is a Zen practice that David offers us in the book, which helps us to bring about this unconditional yes to life in the moments when we're faced with the givens. It's to ask ourselves the question, this being the case, how shall I proceed? So when the givens come up, this being the case, how shall I proceed? This question helps us bring a certain amount of acceptance to what is. The first part of the sentence that this being the case is kind of like saying, okay, I accept that this is how it is right now.

And how shall I proceed is a way of asking ourselves, okay, how would I like to intentionally respond to this? It gives us a chance to tune into our values and then respond from that place rather than out of reactivity or mental struggles. So there you are, and somebody lets you down. They did something they said they wouldn't do. Instead of going into the mind and kind of ruminating about how this shouldn't be happening or how could they, or why me or how catastrophic it is. Instead you could try this being the case, how shall I proceed? So you accept that these things do happen and then decide what's the best course of action that aligns with your values.

What's the best thing for you. Now, I don't offer you this as some kind of magic bullet practice that's going to take away all the difficulties in life. The givens when they arise are not easy and they can be really painful. But what this practice can offer you is a way not to add more suffering and mental struggles on top of what you're already facing. And it can really ground you in presence, wisdom, and calm right there in the middle of it all.

So if this sounds like it could be valuable, I encourage you to give it a try when you're faced with loss, disappointment, heartache, or pain. This being the case, how shall I proceed? May it bring you ease and strength in those times. Thank you for your practice. Let's settle in for meditation.

Melli O'Brien

4.8

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