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How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
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How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
Benefits of Mindfulness: Mindful Living Can Change Your Life
Mindfulness 101: A Beginner's Guide
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Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today I'm going to talk about other people's opinions of you. So spiritual teacher, Byron Katie often says, "If I had a prayer, it would be this. God spare me from the desire for love, approval or appreciation. Amen.
So this sounds really radical in a way, but I think it's actually a useful idea to ponder in our life because we tend to get very attached to the ideas and opinions that other people have about us. We get very attached to wanting and needing approval. And the thing is when we place so much weight on other people's opinions of us, we're in a kind of fragile position. We feel really awful when someone criticizes us, and our self-worth gets really shaky and delicate. We might ruminate about it and obsess about whether we're good enough or we're measuring up.
And when someone compliments us, we might feel good and our self-worth is good, kind of propped up temporarily. But if we get reliant on somebody else saying nice things to us or getting enough likes on Facebook, and we need that to feel okay about ourselves, we're really in trouble because we can easily find ourselves caught on a kind of roller coaster of approval seeking and perfectionism and you know, trying to get somebody else to like us. So if we get really attached to either praise or criticism, we get thrown around by both of them. But if we can go beyond them, we can find a more deep and stable sense of self-worth that doesn't depend on what other people say or think of us. As my mum used to say jokingly, what other people think of me is none of my business.
And I love this. It's something I say to myself from time to time as a reminder. But not in a dismissing way. It's just a reminder to understand that no matter what you do or who you are, sometimes people are going to praise, you other times they're going to put you down. Sometimes people will like you.
Sometimes people won't. It's really just part of life. So sometimes there might be some real valuable feedback coming our way through those compliments or criticisms. And so it's good to be open and curious to engage with that. But at the same time, without letting it de stabilize your sense of self-worth and confidence, so we can sort of take it in, but not take it on, not take it personally.
So today, as you go about the day, See, if you can notice any habits of approval seeking or reactivity to other people's opinions when they do come up. And when they do come up, just take a moment to pause, breathe, and remember that other people's opinions don't define you and they don't determine your worthiness. So as always, thank you for your practice and your presence here with us. And now let's settle in for today's meditation.
Other People's Opinion of You
Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:
Duration
Your default time is based on your progress and is changed automatically as you practice.
Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today I'm going to talk about other people's opinions of you. So spiritual teacher, Byron Katie often says, "If I had a prayer, it would be this. God spare me from the desire for love, approval or appreciation. Amen.
So this sounds really radical in a way, but I think it's actually a useful idea to ponder in our life because we tend to get very attached to the ideas and opinions that other people have about us. We get very attached to wanting and needing approval. And the thing is when we place so much weight on other people's opinions of us, we're in a kind of fragile position. We feel really awful when someone criticizes us, and our self-worth gets really shaky and delicate. We might ruminate about it and obsess about whether we're good enough or we're measuring up.
And when someone compliments us, we might feel good and our self-worth is good, kind of propped up temporarily. But if we get reliant on somebody else saying nice things to us or getting enough likes on Facebook, and we need that to feel okay about ourselves, we're really in trouble because we can easily find ourselves caught on a kind of roller coaster of approval seeking and perfectionism and you know, trying to get somebody else to like us. So if we get really attached to either praise or criticism, we get thrown around by both of them. But if we can go beyond them, we can find a more deep and stable sense of self-worth that doesn't depend on what other people say or think of us. As my mum used to say jokingly, what other people think of me is none of my business.
And I love this. It's something I say to myself from time to time as a reminder. But not in a dismissing way. It's just a reminder to understand that no matter what you do or who you are, sometimes people are going to praise, you other times they're going to put you down. Sometimes people will like you.
Sometimes people won't. It's really just part of life. So sometimes there might be some real valuable feedback coming our way through those compliments or criticisms. And so it's good to be open and curious to engage with that. But at the same time, without letting it de stabilize your sense of self-worth and confidence, so we can sort of take it in, but not take it on, not take it personally.
So today, as you go about the day, See, if you can notice any habits of approval seeking or reactivity to other people's opinions when they do come up. And when they do come up, just take a moment to pause, breathe, and remember that other people's opinions don't define you and they don't determine your worthiness. So as always, thank you for your practice and your presence here with us. And now let's settle in for today's meditation.
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This is the app I turn to when I want to feel calm and loved.
- Abby
Melli has a beautiful way of guiding and reminding us of the stillness within.
- Adrienne James
I have been on a journey of healing and learning self-love. Amidst the work, I have been using the mindfulness app for the gentle reminders, guides to the moment (especially the difficult ones).
Kelly Boys offers a fresh and illuminating take on how to step out of lifelong patterns that keep snagging us.
- Tara Brach, PhD
Truly life changing. This isn't solely meditation and mindfulness...this is about striving to be the best the versions of ourselves.
- Marisa, Plus+ Member
Relaxing and assuring beyond description... thank you, Cory.
- Babs312
This is the app I turn to when I want to feel calm and loved.
- Abby
Melli has a beautiful way of guiding and reminding us of the stillness within.
- Adrienne James
I have been on a journey of healing and learning self-love. Amidst the work, I have been using the mindfulness app for the gentle reminders, guides to the moment (especially the difficult ones).
Kelly Boys offers a fresh and illuminating take on how to step out of lifelong patterns that keep snagging us.
- Tara Brach, PhD
Truly life changing. This isn't solely meditation and mindfulness...this is about striving to be the best the versions of ourselves.
- Marisa, Plus+ Member
Relaxing and assuring beyond description... thank you, Cory.
- Babs312
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Shamash's guidance is a gift of wisdom to help us in our busy and stressful lives.
- Paul Gilbert, PhD, FBPsS, OBE, Centre for Compassion Research and Training, University of Derby, United Kingdom
Excellent! Cory gently guides you into internal peace.
- Steve Ericson
A necessary tool for those who feel lost.
- Piper
Just want to say a big thankyou to all involved as this has had a positive impact in my daily life 🙏 Valuable teachings that have allowed me to have a better relationship not only with those around me, but with myself. Heal ourselves and we heal the world 💫✨🌍
- Marty
I start every day with Cory or Melli for my daily practice. Including this app into my practice helps me continue to build more mental focus and understanding of my thought processes. What a welcome and powerful gift.
- Oku
Shamash's guidance is a gift of wisdom to help us in our busy and stressful lives.
- Paul Gilbert, PhD, FBPsS, OBE, Centre for Compassion Research and Training, University of Derby, United Kingdom
Excellent! Cory gently guides you into internal peace.
- Steve Ericson
A necessary tool for those who feel lost.
- Piper
Just want to say a big thankyou to all involved as this has had a positive impact in my daily life 🙏 Valuable teachings that have allowed me to have a better relationship not only with those around me, but with myself. Heal ourselves and we heal the world 💫✨🌍
- Marty
I start every day with Cory or Melli for my daily practice. Including this app into my practice helps me continue to build more mental focus and understanding of my thought processes. What a welcome and powerful gift.
- Oku
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