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Moving Beyond Shame and Regret

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today I'm going to talk about healing and moving beyond our past wounds of shame and regret. So it's really quite easy to get caught up in mental stories about the mistakes we've made and the regrets we have, to get caught up in guilt and self-judgment from the past. But if we view our past through the eyes of mindfulness and compassion, we see that the reality is, is that we were doing the best we could at that time. If we could have been less reactive, less emotional, more kind, more skillful, we would have.

If we had known better at the time we could have done better, but we didn't. Sometimes we look back and we wish things could have turned out differently. And we might have this idea that because things didn't go the way we planned, that it was a huge mistake. But things simply don't always go the way we want them to. And we can't always get every single thing right.

And we certainly can't perfectly predict all of the consequences of our actions. And the truth is, is that sometimes the best way to really learn something is to get it wrong the first time or the first few times. And then in that case, it's not really a mistake. It's a learning experience. It teaches us something about what works for us in life, how we want to act and who we would like to be going forward.

So when it comes to these moments where we go off course, it's of course, really helpful to reflect on them for long enough so that we learn not to repeat the same behavior again. But wallowing in shame, regret and self-judgment is not helpful for us to grow and do better for ourselves and others. It really just disempowers us. It's important to practice self forgiveness, because the reality is, is that if we had the understanding, if we had the self awareness, if we had the self-control or the ability to do something different in that moment, we would have. We cannot be perfect.

It was simply the fact in that moment that we didn't have the skills to react in a different way. So by forgiving ourselves, we make room to learn from ourselves and our past behavior, thereby becoming more and more able to show up with kindness, wisdom, and inner strength. And through this process of seeing ourselves through the eyes of understanding, we also come to see that everyone else is in the same boat as us. So we can extend them some forgiveness and compassion too. So today and the rest of this week, see if you can move beyond regret, shame, and guilt, both in yourself and in the other and invite in forgiveness, learning and understanding.

So as always, thank you for your practice and your presence here with us. And now let settle in for today's meditation.

Melli O'Brien

4.8

Moving Beyond Shame and Regret

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Duration

Your default time is based on your progress and is changed automatically as you practice.

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today I'm going to talk about healing and moving beyond our past wounds of shame and regret. So it's really quite easy to get caught up in mental stories about the mistakes we've made and the regrets we have, to get caught up in guilt and self-judgment from the past. But if we view our past through the eyes of mindfulness and compassion, we see that the reality is, is that we were doing the best we could at that time. If we could have been less reactive, less emotional, more kind, more skillful, we would have.

If we had known better at the time we could have done better, but we didn't. Sometimes we look back and we wish things could have turned out differently. And we might have this idea that because things didn't go the way we planned, that it was a huge mistake. But things simply don't always go the way we want them to. And we can't always get every single thing right.

And we certainly can't perfectly predict all of the consequences of our actions. And the truth is, is that sometimes the best way to really learn something is to get it wrong the first time or the first few times. And then in that case, it's not really a mistake. It's a learning experience. It teaches us something about what works for us in life, how we want to act and who we would like to be going forward.

So when it comes to these moments where we go off course, it's of course, really helpful to reflect on them for long enough so that we learn not to repeat the same behavior again. But wallowing in shame, regret and self-judgment is not helpful for us to grow and do better for ourselves and others. It really just disempowers us. It's important to practice self forgiveness, because the reality is, is that if we had the understanding, if we had the self awareness, if we had the self-control or the ability to do something different in that moment, we would have. We cannot be perfect.

It was simply the fact in that moment that we didn't have the skills to react in a different way. So by forgiving ourselves, we make room to learn from ourselves and our past behavior, thereby becoming more and more able to show up with kindness, wisdom, and inner strength. And through this process of seeing ourselves through the eyes of understanding, we also come to see that everyone else is in the same boat as us. So we can extend them some forgiveness and compassion too. So today and the rest of this week, see if you can move beyond regret, shame, and guilt, both in yourself and in the other and invite in forgiveness, learning and understanding.

So as always, thank you for your practice and your presence here with us. And now let settle in for today's meditation.

Melli O'Brien

4.8

Duration

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