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How to Develop Patience

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Hey, welcome back to your Daily Mindfulness. In today's session, we're going to talk about developing patience. Now, this is an interesting topic for me to be discussing because patience hasn't always come easily to me. I've always been a bit impatient. I tend to want things to happen fast.

I get excited about something and move quickly into it. And if I don't get results in something quickly, I tend to drop it and move on to the next thing. It's something I'm working on. But if I'm being honest, I do like the part of me that is a little impatient. It's served me in many ways and often motivates a certain kind of action.

The discomfort of it creates an impetus for change, which I value. But there are many scenarios in life, my own included, that require patience. Tedious tasks that we're not going to immediately figure out, raising children and needing to understand that they're going to mature and evolve in their own way in their own time, or even having long-term goals. Any big thing that's worth creating will have ups and downs and seldom will there be immediate gratification. So we have to be patient through the whole journey to get anywhere significant.

So to start to understand how to develop patience, let's first look at what impatience is. My working definition is that it's a refusal or inability to be in this moment as it is. And the reason I say refusal and inability is because it can be both. There are some times when we just won't stand for how the moment is and we're autonomously saying no to something. I think this is a healthy form of impatience.

It could be in relationship to systemic issues, world issues, or even a toxic relationship. There are other forms of the refusal though, that are less noble and more cranky. And that's just, I don't like how this moment is. I want it to be different. It's uncomfortable.

This is when our inner child usually comes out and starts huffing and puffing because we don't like how the moment is right now. But then there's also the inability to be with moments as they are. That inability represents more when our nervous system hasn't been trained to be grounded, calm, and at ease through a series of moments where not used to, or don't like. To put a computer metaphor to it, it'd be like too much data and not enough bandwidth. And when this happens, we'll reflectively turn away from the moment, do something else or rush off.

So what's the solution? Well, one strategy is to simply be patient with impatience. When you feel yourself in that impatient place, your leg is shaking, your hands are gripping, your mind is racing, you're leaning into the next moment. When you feel that, become curious about impatience itself. Drop more deeply into it, which is going to be counterintuitive. You'll be frustrated by the impatience, especially now that you're trying to not be impatient.

We need to step out of that mentality. Get out of our heads and into our bodies. What does this moment feel like? What are the qualities of impatience? Where do I feel it in my hands, my face, my belly? And as soon as you step out of where the impatience is trying to get you and instead drop into the experience of it itself, well, you're doing the very opposite of impatience. So impatience is a refusal or inability to be with this moment as it is, then patience is the willingness and ability to be in this moment as it is. And that's exactly what you're doing when you bring curiosity to impatience.

You're willing and able to be in this moment as it is. So today, when you find yourself caught up in those impatient moments, don't try to get rid of it. Just connect to it more deeply, bring curiosity to it, bring more presence to it. And in doing so you are cultivating patience. We'll explore more of this in the meditation.

Thank you for your practice. I'll talk to you soon and take care.

Cory Muscara

4.8

How to Develop Patience

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Duration

Your default time is based on your progress and is changed automatically as you practice.

Hey, welcome back to your Daily Mindfulness. In today's session, we're going to talk about developing patience. Now, this is an interesting topic for me to be discussing because patience hasn't always come easily to me. I've always been a bit impatient. I tend to want things to happen fast.

I get excited about something and move quickly into it. And if I don't get results in something quickly, I tend to drop it and move on to the next thing. It's something I'm working on. But if I'm being honest, I do like the part of me that is a little impatient. It's served me in many ways and often motivates a certain kind of action.

The discomfort of it creates an impetus for change, which I value. But there are many scenarios in life, my own included, that require patience. Tedious tasks that we're not going to immediately figure out, raising children and needing to understand that they're going to mature and evolve in their own way in their own time, or even having long-term goals. Any big thing that's worth creating will have ups and downs and seldom will there be immediate gratification. So we have to be patient through the whole journey to get anywhere significant.

So to start to understand how to develop patience, let's first look at what impatience is. My working definition is that it's a refusal or inability to be in this moment as it is. And the reason I say refusal and inability is because it can be both. There are some times when we just won't stand for how the moment is and we're autonomously saying no to something. I think this is a healthy form of impatience.

It could be in relationship to systemic issues, world issues, or even a toxic relationship. There are other forms of the refusal though, that are less noble and more cranky. And that's just, I don't like how this moment is. I want it to be different. It's uncomfortable.

This is when our inner child usually comes out and starts huffing and puffing because we don't like how the moment is right now. But then there's also the inability to be with moments as they are. That inability represents more when our nervous system hasn't been trained to be grounded, calm, and at ease through a series of moments where not used to, or don't like. To put a computer metaphor to it, it'd be like too much data and not enough bandwidth. And when this happens, we'll reflectively turn away from the moment, do something else or rush off.

So what's the solution? Well, one strategy is to simply be patient with impatience. When you feel yourself in that impatient place, your leg is shaking, your hands are gripping, your mind is racing, you're leaning into the next moment. When you feel that, become curious about impatience itself. Drop more deeply into it, which is going to be counterintuitive. You'll be frustrated by the impatience, especially now that you're trying to not be impatient.

We need to step out of that mentality. Get out of our heads and into our bodies. What does this moment feel like? What are the qualities of impatience? Where do I feel it in my hands, my face, my belly? And as soon as you step out of where the impatience is trying to get you and instead drop into the experience of it itself, well, you're doing the very opposite of impatience. So impatience is a refusal or inability to be with this moment as it is, then patience is the willingness and ability to be in this moment as it is. And that's exactly what you're doing when you bring curiosity to impatience.

You're willing and able to be in this moment as it is. So today, when you find yourself caught up in those impatient moments, don't try to get rid of it. Just connect to it more deeply, bring curiosity to it, bring more presence to it. And in doing so you are cultivating patience. We'll explore more of this in the meditation.

Thank you for your practice. I'll talk to you soon and take care.

Cory Muscara

4.8

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