Browse
Top articles
How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
Try free for 7 days.
How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
Benefits of Mindfulness: Mindful Living Can Change Your Life
Mindfulness 101: A Beginner's Guide
00:00
00:00
Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:
Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today, I am going to talk about the importance of acknowledging and allowing subjective realities. So as we're going about daily life, we will very often be seeing things differently than other people do. And of course, this isn't natural. But the problem is, is that we tend to hold onto our viewpoints, our judgments, and our opinions about what's happening very tightly.
Now, when we get into a disagreement or a conflict, it's often the case that what is being argued about are actually two different viewpoints that are equally valid. And we just might not be hearing each other in that moment. Now, before I go any further here, I want to put an important caveat here. And the caveat is, is that in certain situations, it might not always be helpful to acknowledge subjective realities. For instance, racist, sexist, or extremist views that cause harm, violence or oppression to anyone are not okay.
You know, permission to have different points of view does not give anyone permission to cause harm or oppression. But a lot of the time, we may all see and experience things differently and a lot of misunderstanding can occur when we don't acknowledge people's subjective realities. Let's say a co-worker of yours comes in one day and looks at you a bit strangely. They don't smile at you. It's just kind of a dead pan stare.
Later in the day, after a meeting with you, they walk out of the office and slam the door loudly, which makes you jump a little bit. Now in that moment, you could be thinking to yourself that this person just doesn't like you, maybe that they're an angry person. You might even say something to them like, you don't have to be such a jerk or maybe you start to become shy and withdrawn around them because you believe that they don't like you. But the reality is, is that you don't know what that other person's experience actually is at this point. You're just assuming things about what's happening for them.
But if you went up and spoke to them and said, Hey, I noticed this morning that you looked at me without smiling, and then the door slammed quite hard after the meeting. And I feel a little worried. I'm wondering what's going on for you? Now that's really different to, you don't have to be a jerk or assuming this person doesn't like you and withdrawing from them. So see the difference? One is making an assumption or a judgment about what's happening without the full information. Whereas the other is just owning your experience and if necessary, inquiring about this.
So if we're going to speak to someone in these situations, it's best to try and use I statements and just speak about our own personal experience and feelings, and then being open to hearing the other. So the next time you find yourself feeling maybe resentful towards someone, or you end up in a conflict of some kind, just asking yourself, are you holding on too tight to your own viewpoint? Could you soften your assumptions a little and acknowledge the possibility of another person's subjective reality. I think you'll find if you can do that, you'll find more peace of mind and more fulfillment and ease in all of your relationships. So as always, thank you for your practice. Thank you for doing this work on yourself and in the world.
And now let's settle in for today's meditation.
Acknowledging Subjective Realities
Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:
Duration
Your default time is based on your progress and is changed automatically as you practice.
Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today, I am going to talk about the importance of acknowledging and allowing subjective realities. So as we're going about daily life, we will very often be seeing things differently than other people do. And of course, this isn't natural. But the problem is, is that we tend to hold onto our viewpoints, our judgments, and our opinions about what's happening very tightly.
Now, when we get into a disagreement or a conflict, it's often the case that what is being argued about are actually two different viewpoints that are equally valid. And we just might not be hearing each other in that moment. Now, before I go any further here, I want to put an important caveat here. And the caveat is, is that in certain situations, it might not always be helpful to acknowledge subjective realities. For instance, racist, sexist, or extremist views that cause harm, violence or oppression to anyone are not okay.
You know, permission to have different points of view does not give anyone permission to cause harm or oppression. But a lot of the time, we may all see and experience things differently and a lot of misunderstanding can occur when we don't acknowledge people's subjective realities. Let's say a co-worker of yours comes in one day and looks at you a bit strangely. They don't smile at you. It's just kind of a dead pan stare.
Later in the day, after a meeting with you, they walk out of the office and slam the door loudly, which makes you jump a little bit. Now in that moment, you could be thinking to yourself that this person just doesn't like you, maybe that they're an angry person. You might even say something to them like, you don't have to be such a jerk or maybe you start to become shy and withdrawn around them because you believe that they don't like you. But the reality is, is that you don't know what that other person's experience actually is at this point. You're just assuming things about what's happening for them.
But if you went up and spoke to them and said, Hey, I noticed this morning that you looked at me without smiling, and then the door slammed quite hard after the meeting. And I feel a little worried. I'm wondering what's going on for you? Now that's really different to, you don't have to be a jerk or assuming this person doesn't like you and withdrawing from them. So see the difference? One is making an assumption or a judgment about what's happening without the full information. Whereas the other is just owning your experience and if necessary, inquiring about this.
So if we're going to speak to someone in these situations, it's best to try and use I statements and just speak about our own personal experience and feelings, and then being open to hearing the other. So the next time you find yourself feeling maybe resentful towards someone, or you end up in a conflict of some kind, just asking yourself, are you holding on too tight to your own viewpoint? Could you soften your assumptions a little and acknowledge the possibility of another person's subjective reality. I think you'll find if you can do that, you'll find more peace of mind and more fulfillment and ease in all of your relationships. So as always, thank you for your practice. Thank you for doing this work on yourself and in the world.
And now let's settle in for today's meditation.
Duration
Play in-app
Scan the following QR code with your camera app to open it on our mobile app
Get Unlimited Access
A Mindfulness Plus+ subscription gives you unlimited access to a world of premium mindfulness content.
Email Missing
We couldn’t detect your email with the SSO provider you have selected.We are here to make a positive impact on the world. We never want to sell you something that hasn’t helped you live a better life. That’s why if you’re unhappy with any purchase from us, you have 30 days to get a full refund and your money back.
If you subscribed to Mindfulness Plus+ and are unhappy with your purchase, please get in contact with us within the 30-day period and we’ll refund your purchase.
Learn more about our Mindfulness Guarantee.
Mindfulness
We believe in a world where everybody has access to the life-changing skills of mindfulness.
Private Browsing
We believe in a world where everybody has access to the life-changing skills of mindfulness.
Annual membership
$0
This is the app I turn to when I want to feel calm and loved.
- Abby
Melli has a beautiful way of guiding and reminding us of the stillness within.
- Adrienne James
I have been on a journey of healing and learning self-love. Amidst the work, I have been using the mindfulness app for the gentle reminders, guides to the moment (especially the difficult ones).
Kelly Boys offers a fresh and illuminating take on how to step out of lifelong patterns that keep snagging us.
- Tara Brach, PhD
Truly life changing. This isn't solely meditation and mindfulness...this is about striving to be the best the versions of ourselves.
- Marisa, Plus+ Member
Relaxing and assuring beyond description... thank you, Cory.
- Babs312
This is the app I turn to when I want to feel calm and loved.
- Abby
Melli has a beautiful way of guiding and reminding us of the stillness within.
- Adrienne James
I have been on a journey of healing and learning self-love. Amidst the work, I have been using the mindfulness app for the gentle reminders, guides to the moment (especially the difficult ones).
Kelly Boys offers a fresh and illuminating take on how to step out of lifelong patterns that keep snagging us.
- Tara Brach, PhD
Truly life changing. This isn't solely meditation and mindfulness...this is about striving to be the best the versions of ourselves.
- Marisa, Plus+ Member
Relaxing and assuring beyond description... thank you, Cory.
- Babs312
This is the app I turn to when I want to feel calm and loved.
- Abby
Melli has a beautiful way of guiding and reminding us of the stillness within.
- Adrienne James
I have been on a journey of healing and learning self-love. Amidst the work, I have been using the mindfulness app for the gentle reminders, guides to the moment (especially the difficult ones).
Kelly Boys offers a fresh and illuminating take on how to step out of lifelong patterns that keep snagging us.
- Tara Brach, PhD
Truly life changing. This isn't solely meditation and mindfulness...this is about striving to be the best the versions of ourselves.
- Marisa, Plus+ Member
Relaxing and assuring beyond description... thank you, Cory.
- Babs312
Shamash's guidance is a gift of wisdom to help us in our busy and stressful lives.
- Paul Gilbert, PhD, FBPsS, OBE, Centre for Compassion Research and Training, University of Derby, United Kingdom
Excellent! Cory gently guides you into internal peace.
- Steve Ericson
A necessary tool for those who feel lost.
- Piper
Just want to say a big thankyou to all involved as this has had a positive impact in my daily life 🙏 Valuable teachings that have allowed me to have a better relationship not only with those around me, but with myself. Heal ourselves and we heal the world 💫✨🌍
- Marty
I start every day with Cory or Melli for my daily practice. Including this app into my practice helps me continue to build more mental focus and understanding of my thought processes. What a welcome and powerful gift.
- Oku
Shamash's guidance is a gift of wisdom to help us in our busy and stressful lives.
- Paul Gilbert, PhD, FBPsS, OBE, Centre for Compassion Research and Training, University of Derby, United Kingdom
Excellent! Cory gently guides you into internal peace.
- Steve Ericson
A necessary tool for those who feel lost.
- Piper
Just want to say a big thankyou to all involved as this has had a positive impact in my daily life 🙏 Valuable teachings that have allowed me to have a better relationship not only with those around me, but with myself. Heal ourselves and we heal the world 💫✨🌍
- Marty
I start every day with Cory or Melli for my daily practice. Including this app into my practice helps me continue to build more mental focus and understanding of my thought processes. What a welcome and powerful gift.
- Oku
Shamash's guidance is a gift of wisdom to help us in our busy and stressful lives.
- Paul Gilbert, PhD, FBPsS, OBE, Centre for Compassion Research and Training, University of Derby, United Kingdom
Excellent! Cory gently guides you into internal peace.
- Steve Ericson
A necessary tool for those who feel lost.
- Piper
Just want to say a big thankyou to all involved as this has had a positive impact in my daily life 🙏 Valuable teachings that have allowed me to have a better relationship not only with those around me, but with myself. Heal ourselves and we heal the world 💫✨🌍
- Marty
I start every day with Cory or Melli for my daily practice. Including this app into my practice helps me continue to build more mental focus and understanding of my thought processes. What a welcome and powerful gift.
- Oku
Thank you for joining us
Dive into the full library and enjoy all it has to offer!
Claim your free access
Create a mindfulness account and we’ll unlock this premium session in your account forever.
7-Days free trial, cancel anytime.
Complete a few quick questions to make your own personalized mindfulness plan.
Sign up or login to your mindfulness account to proceed.
Sign up or login to your mindfulness account to proceed.
Mindfulness
One membership to gain access to a world of premium mindfulness content created to help you live happier and stress less.