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How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
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How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
Benefits of Mindfulness: Mindful Living Can Change Your Life
Mindfulness 101: A Beginner's Guide
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Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today, I'm going to talk about loving back bigger. You know, it's easy to love people and treat them well when they treat you kindly. The real test is when they let you down, treat you badly, and this is when we need to love back bigger. When people treat us badly or hurt us in some way, you know, when we feel angry, wounded, resentful, shocked, sad, or disappointed, in these moments, we often want to lash out, speak badly about the person, punish or hurt them in some way.
Now these urges are really normal .You know? And in a situation where there's a true immediate danger, such as someone trying to physically harm you, these urges are really helpful in mobilizing us to attack back or run to get away. But most of the time when we get caught up in reactive emotions and retaliate beyond whatever is actually helpful, bad things follow. When we say and do things we later regret, the other person fires back and we get caught in vicious cycles of blaming, attacking, punishing. We can end up becoming the worst version of ourselves in these moments when we lose ourselves in vengeful for thoughts, hostility, and hatred. But when we love back bigger, we end the cycles of hostility and restore our own sense of inner calm, presence, and strength.
Now, before I go on, I just want to say that, Hey, in these situations, sometimes we absolutely do need to set boundaries, speak up for what matters, take care of ourselves in effective ways and stand up for ourselves. But we can do these things without slipping into reactivity. We can try, and I say try because this really is a practice. Something I'm working on myself. So how can we practice loving back bigger? Well, first of all, we can remember to see the other as a person, you know, with their own struggles and blind spots and wounds and flaws and weaknesses just like everyone else.
You know, we'll all make mistakes sometimes. When we see people this way, we can let go of blame and we can let go of taking it so personally. And, you know, move towards loving and accepting them beyond ideas of good and bad, right and wrong, beyond our pain or anger or what we want from them. We can just accept them as they are and choose not to hold on to any ill will. Second of all, instead of thinking about getting back at someone or ruminating about what they did or what they do and don't deserve, we can focus on who we want to be in the situation.
You know, if we value being kind, honest, compassionate, and patient, then instead of kind of stooping to somebody else's level of behavior, we can choose our own according to our values. And we can really act from that instead of falling into reactivity. So this is the practice for today and ongoing, to see if you can love back bigger. Even if it's only a little bit, it can make a big difference in bringing you more freedom and peace of mind. So as always, thank you for your practice and your presence here with us.
And let's now settle in for today's meditation.
Love Back Bigger
Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:
Duration
Your default time is based on your progress and is changed automatically as you practice.
Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today, I'm going to talk about loving back bigger. You know, it's easy to love people and treat them well when they treat you kindly. The real test is when they let you down, treat you badly, and this is when we need to love back bigger. When people treat us badly or hurt us in some way, you know, when we feel angry, wounded, resentful, shocked, sad, or disappointed, in these moments, we often want to lash out, speak badly about the person, punish or hurt them in some way.
Now these urges are really normal .You know? And in a situation where there's a true immediate danger, such as someone trying to physically harm you, these urges are really helpful in mobilizing us to attack back or run to get away. But most of the time when we get caught up in reactive emotions and retaliate beyond whatever is actually helpful, bad things follow. When we say and do things we later regret, the other person fires back and we get caught in vicious cycles of blaming, attacking, punishing. We can end up becoming the worst version of ourselves in these moments when we lose ourselves in vengeful for thoughts, hostility, and hatred. But when we love back bigger, we end the cycles of hostility and restore our own sense of inner calm, presence, and strength.
Now, before I go on, I just want to say that, Hey, in these situations, sometimes we absolutely do need to set boundaries, speak up for what matters, take care of ourselves in effective ways and stand up for ourselves. But we can do these things without slipping into reactivity. We can try, and I say try because this really is a practice. Something I'm working on myself. So how can we practice loving back bigger? Well, first of all, we can remember to see the other as a person, you know, with their own struggles and blind spots and wounds and flaws and weaknesses just like everyone else.
You know, we'll all make mistakes sometimes. When we see people this way, we can let go of blame and we can let go of taking it so personally. And, you know, move towards loving and accepting them beyond ideas of good and bad, right and wrong, beyond our pain or anger or what we want from them. We can just accept them as they are and choose not to hold on to any ill will. Second of all, instead of thinking about getting back at someone or ruminating about what they did or what they do and don't deserve, we can focus on who we want to be in the situation.
You know, if we value being kind, honest, compassionate, and patient, then instead of kind of stooping to somebody else's level of behavior, we can choose our own according to our values. And we can really act from that instead of falling into reactivity. So this is the practice for today and ongoing, to see if you can love back bigger. Even if it's only a little bit, it can make a big difference in bringing you more freedom and peace of mind. So as always, thank you for your practice and your presence here with us.
And let's now settle in for today's meditation.
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Melli has a beautiful way of guiding and reminding us of the stillness within.
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I have been on a journey of healing and learning self-love. Amidst the work, I have been using the mindfulness app for the gentle reminders, guides to the moment (especially the difficult ones).
Kelly Boys offers a fresh and illuminating take on how to step out of lifelong patterns that keep snagging us.
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Truly life changing. This isn't solely meditation and mindfulness...this is about striving to be the best the versions of ourselves.
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Relaxing and assuring beyond description... thank you, Cory.
- Babs312
This is the app I turn to when I want to feel calm and loved.
- Abby
Melli has a beautiful way of guiding and reminding us of the stillness within.
- Adrienne James
I have been on a journey of healing and learning self-love. Amidst the work, I have been using the mindfulness app for the gentle reminders, guides to the moment (especially the difficult ones).
Kelly Boys offers a fresh and illuminating take on how to step out of lifelong patterns that keep snagging us.
- Tara Brach, PhD
Truly life changing. This isn't solely meditation and mindfulness...this is about striving to be the best the versions of ourselves.
- Marisa, Plus+ Member
Relaxing and assuring beyond description... thank you, Cory.
- Babs312
This is the app I turn to when I want to feel calm and loved.
- Abby
Melli has a beautiful way of guiding and reminding us of the stillness within.
- Adrienne James
I have been on a journey of healing and learning self-love. Amidst the work, I have been using the mindfulness app for the gentle reminders, guides to the moment (especially the difficult ones).
Kelly Boys offers a fresh and illuminating take on how to step out of lifelong patterns that keep snagging us.
- Tara Brach, PhD
Truly life changing. This isn't solely meditation and mindfulness...this is about striving to be the best the versions of ourselves.
- Marisa, Plus+ Member
Relaxing and assuring beyond description... thank you, Cory.
- Babs312
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Excellent! Cory gently guides you into internal peace.
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A necessary tool for those who feel lost.
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I start every day with Cory or Melli for my daily practice. Including this app into my practice helps me continue to build more mental focus and understanding of my thought processes. What a welcome and powerful gift.
- Oku
Shamash's guidance is a gift of wisdom to help us in our busy and stressful lives.
- Paul Gilbert, PhD, FBPsS, OBE, Centre for Compassion Research and Training, University of Derby, United Kingdom
Excellent! Cory gently guides you into internal peace.
- Steve Ericson
A necessary tool for those who feel lost.
- Piper
Just want to say a big thankyou to all involved as this has had a positive impact in my daily life 🙏 Valuable teachings that have allowed me to have a better relationship not only with those around me, but with myself. Heal ourselves and we heal the world 💫✨🌍
- Marty
I start every day with Cory or Melli for my daily practice. Including this app into my practice helps me continue to build more mental focus and understanding of my thought processes. What a welcome and powerful gift.
- Oku
Shamash's guidance is a gift of wisdom to help us in our busy and stressful lives.
- Paul Gilbert, PhD, FBPsS, OBE, Centre for Compassion Research and Training, University of Derby, United Kingdom
Excellent! Cory gently guides you into internal peace.
- Steve Ericson
A necessary tool for those who feel lost.
- Piper
Just want to say a big thankyou to all involved as this has had a positive impact in my daily life 🙏 Valuable teachings that have allowed me to have a better relationship not only with those around me, but with myself. Heal ourselves and we heal the world 💫✨🌍
- Marty
I start every day with Cory or Melli for my daily practice. Including this app into my practice helps me continue to build more mental focus and understanding of my thought processes. What a welcome and powerful gift.
- Oku
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