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Choosing Discomfort Over Resentment

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today I'm going to talk about the value of choosing discomfort over resentment. So resentment. This is when we have ongoing upset feelings, usually anger or annoyance towards another person or people because of a real, a misunderstood, or perhaps an imagined injustice. Now resentment might arise, for instance, you know, after a careless comment that a friend made, a criticism from a coworker, or when we feel like someone's not pulling their weight in the relationship, or maybe they're not treating us the way that we would like to be treated.

Sometimes when we experienced resentment, we feel victimized. But we might feel too angry, too ashamed, or maybe too afraid of conflict to discuss how we feel. So instead, what often happens is that we hold a grudge, we hold all these anger inside of us and it festers. We've all been there, right? So Brené Brown is a person who's been a real source of inspiration in my life. But of all the things I've learned from her, there's one quote, one invitation that stands out to me the most and really has a profound impact on my own life, both personally and professionally.

And the quote is this, "Choose discomfort over resentment." What does that mean to choose discomfort over resentment? To me, it means that whenever we're presented with a difficult situation with someone, when we're feeling angry, disappointed, or irritated with them, we should choose, in those moments, to engage in a clear, kind and honest conversation about it and ask for change if that's needed or appropriate. Easy to say, but this is often hard, right? Like we often want to avoid this because we know the conversation could potentially cause conflict. We know it's going to be a little uncomfortable. But the reality is that not doing this will lead to bigger resentments down the line. So really the way I see it is choosing discomfort over resentment, to me, is an act of love.

Because it shows that I care about this relationship enough to be honest, iron out any issues so that I don't hold resentment or harbor ill will. Choosing discomfort over resentment means setting boundaries, avoiding people, people pleasing, being honest and authentic about what's going on for you, being really transparent. It applies to all kinds of situations, right? And it might mean telling a family member that something that they said made you feel uncomfortable. It might be letting your partner know that actually it really bothers you when they leave their clothes on the floor or their dishes in the sink. It might mean saying to your boss that their requests are not reasonable.

You know, it's willing to, being willing to speak up when you feel your boundaries have been crossed, you feel misunderstood or mistreated. Just really letting the other person know how you feel. And these conversations can all be done in a really caring and compassionate way. So my invitation for you today is to do a little check in with yourself and see if there's any where in your life where you're holding on to resentment. And if it feels right to you finding out how you can choose discomfort over resentment as an act of love.

And, you know, as Brené Brown says, "Compassionate people, they ask for what they need. They say no when they need to. They say yes when they mean it. And they're compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment." So that's the invitation for practice today. And as always, thank you for your practice and your presence here with us.

And now let's settle in for today's meditation.

Melli O'Brien

4.7

Choosing Discomfort Over Resentment

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Duration

Your default time is based on your progress and is changed automatically as you practice.

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today I'm going to talk about the value of choosing discomfort over resentment. So resentment. This is when we have ongoing upset feelings, usually anger or annoyance towards another person or people because of a real, a misunderstood, or perhaps an imagined injustice. Now resentment might arise, for instance, you know, after a careless comment that a friend made, a criticism from a coworker, or when we feel like someone's not pulling their weight in the relationship, or maybe they're not treating us the way that we would like to be treated.

Sometimes when we experienced resentment, we feel victimized. But we might feel too angry, too ashamed, or maybe too afraid of conflict to discuss how we feel. So instead, what often happens is that we hold a grudge, we hold all these anger inside of us and it festers. We've all been there, right? So Brené Brown is a person who's been a real source of inspiration in my life. But of all the things I've learned from her, there's one quote, one invitation that stands out to me the most and really has a profound impact on my own life, both personally and professionally.

And the quote is this, "Choose discomfort over resentment." What does that mean to choose discomfort over resentment? To me, it means that whenever we're presented with a difficult situation with someone, when we're feeling angry, disappointed, or irritated with them, we should choose, in those moments, to engage in a clear, kind and honest conversation about it and ask for change if that's needed or appropriate. Easy to say, but this is often hard, right? Like we often want to avoid this because we know the conversation could potentially cause conflict. We know it's going to be a little uncomfortable. But the reality is that not doing this will lead to bigger resentments down the line. So really the way I see it is choosing discomfort over resentment, to me, is an act of love.

Because it shows that I care about this relationship enough to be honest, iron out any issues so that I don't hold resentment or harbor ill will. Choosing discomfort over resentment means setting boundaries, avoiding people, people pleasing, being honest and authentic about what's going on for you, being really transparent. It applies to all kinds of situations, right? And it might mean telling a family member that something that they said made you feel uncomfortable. It might be letting your partner know that actually it really bothers you when they leave their clothes on the floor or their dishes in the sink. It might mean saying to your boss that their requests are not reasonable.

You know, it's willing to, being willing to speak up when you feel your boundaries have been crossed, you feel misunderstood or mistreated. Just really letting the other person know how you feel. And these conversations can all be done in a really caring and compassionate way. So my invitation for you today is to do a little check in with yourself and see if there's any where in your life where you're holding on to resentment. And if it feels right to you finding out how you can choose discomfort over resentment as an act of love.

And, you know, as Brené Brown says, "Compassionate people, they ask for what they need. They say no when they need to. They say yes when they mean it. And they're compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment." So that's the invitation for practice today. And as always, thank you for your practice and your presence here with us.

And now let's settle in for today's meditation.

Melli O'Brien

4.7

Duration

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